Do not read further if you do not want to know about this movie!

Thanks to a really early morning doing my daddy-duty, my wife allowed me to go to the movies because she knew I really wanted to see Guardians of the Galaxy. And she got to stay in with our two year old and 5 day old daughters…fair trade off, right?

So this won’t be a formal review. Just writing down what I thought about the movie and everything. Let me say right off..this movie does not take itself seriously in anyway. I mean, even during the middle of the villain’s monologue, the main character busts out and starts to do the running man. It’s things like this that makes this a great movie.

It’s comedy, drama, (semi) romance, sentimental, and action-packed the whole way through. I may jump around a lot as thoughts come to me. Let me just say that I’m a big fan of the comic book that first came out a few years ago grouping these “misfits” together. It worked then and it works now.

gamoraWhat should I talk about first…well, my mind goes to what wasn’t in the movie. How many of you perverts were waiting for this scene on the right to show up? Well, it didn’t. They kept it in the trailer but it just did not happen. The trailer insinuates that maybe Gamora sleeps with Peter Quill (or someone) sometime during the movie. Well, nope, no implied sex scenes. Things were definitely changed and left on the cutting room floor, as what happens in all movies. That being the case, they could have just left this little “peek-a-boo” shot out of the trailer.

Next – all of the cameos. First, starting with the big bad who turned up in the last few seconds of the Avengers movie (who was responsible for the Chitauri attacking New York in The Avengers), we get Thanos. In fact, it was kind of anti-climatic. Even though I knew who it was during the last few seconds of the Avengers (mainly due to his chin clefts), they kind of just threw him out there with no general gasps of surprise when he turned around. I am kicking myself because the guys next to me took a picture of Thanos on his throne and I wondered why I didn’t think of that.

UPDATE: Seems like Marvel did the smart thing and actually released a decent shot before every fanboy released some half-assed cell phone picture shot…you know, like the one I was going to do…

Let’s see…in no particular order…we get a shot of a Celestial. And one that looks like the Celestials in the comic book. Not like that cheap out cloud Galactus that the Fantastic Four tried to dump on us. They tried to make us think that a giant godlike creature would not translate well to the big screen. Well, GotG did it pretty well. Even kept the severed Celestial head known as Knowhere. Speaking of severed Celestial heads, does anyone know what the hell can do that to a Celestial? I mean, I know the Apocalypse twins killed one in the comic book, but killing a Celestial is far and few between. That is some major “what the hell did that” type shit.

Again, speaking about Knowhere, I was a little disappointed when they were not first greeted by the telepathic cosmonaut dog, Cosmo, who runs Knowhere in the comic. That was until they run into Cosmo who is one of the Collector’s collectibles. True to form, Cosmo and Rocket growl at each other, another shout out to their comic book version. In the comic, Cosmo and Rocket can’t stand each other, but learn to work with each other in the end. Maybe by the next movie Cosmo will be running the place since he was freed from his captivity.

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room…the final 30 seconds of the movie. Cosmo comes over to lick the Collector’s face and make him feel better and we hear another collectible chime in…none other than Howard the Duck drinking a cocktail. There’s a franchise I would love to see them do again… and this time minus the pedophile actors. Really this scene has nothing to do with nothing and does not really lead into another movie…unlike the way Thor 2 lead into this one and Captain America 2 leads into Avengers 2.

Don’t really like what they did with the Nova Corps and Nova Prime. They seriously depowered that whole group. And no explanation why most of the Xanadarians look like Humans. They are so down on humans (terrans), but to me I would have been like “you don’t like me? look in the freakin’ mirror weirdo, you look just like me.”

I really like the group’s friendship. Dave Bautista was over the top, but thank God that his character called for that. And surprisingly Vin Diesel was able to express his feelings with three little words: “I Am Groot”.

Chris Pratt was great as Peter Quill/Star Lord. Zoe Saldana was at least to me not the greatest choice for Gamora. I would have like to have seen someone with better range in their acting…I would have said Zoe Saldana was there, but she was not in this movie. Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel and Bradley Cooper were all great.

All in all, a really fun movie and one that I wholly recommend! If I think up more stuff, I may throw in some edits here and there. Thanks for letting me ramble on.